R Madhavan has often spoken about raising his son Vedaant Madhavan with core values despite fame and privilege. The son of actor ‘Dhurandhar’ is a swimmer who has represented India at various global platforms, has won medals and his main goal is to win the Olympics for our country. In a recent interview, the actor reflected on modern parenting habits and the pressures many families face today.Speaking about the growing culture of extravagance around kids, Madhavan said in an interview with Radhika Gupta on ACKO’s YouTube channel 100 Year Life Project, “What I’m seeing now is that my friends’ kids are going to international schools, and I think LKG kids are paying more fees than me, and that’s because of my motorbike.” He also added: “These are people who have spent a fortune on their child’s first birthday. It’s a very big thing. I don’t think I spent nearly as much on a wedding as I did on a child’s first birthday. And I’m sure, God bless them for having the money to do that, but I’m just saying, these are all facts. And it’s not just for the child. The child probably doesn’t even realize it.’The actress also noted that social expectations around birthday parties and gift-giving have become stressful for parents. She explained: “I know a lot of parents who are so conscious that they have to give gifts back, that sometimes they avoid going to birthday parties because they can’t help it. You know, they say, ‘We’re going to have to call them for our birthday.’“Talking about the values he consciously tried to inculcate in Vedaant, Madhavan added the importance of gratitude and awareness of privilege. He shared, “I realized that there were two things I had to tell Vedaanti. One is this attitude of gratitude, it’s very, very important for them to know that they’re privileged because of someone else’s work, that it helped you achieve this. And so sometimes I just tell him my chef’s salary, saying, ‘Hey, you know what? What did you give him a pair of shoes that lived for a whole year, lived for a whole year? In that kitchen, that can pay a little bit to be enough to earn.‘”The actress also revealed that teaching respect for everyone, regardless of profession or social status, was important to her. He said: “The second thing I made sure Vedaant did was acknowledge, maybe not as much as my friends, but definitely acknowledge the lift, the guard, the drivers, you know, and don’t give them aayas and stuff like that. Call me didi instead. My job was well done.”“Madhavan also recalled a parenting lesson he learned in his youth while living in Canada. Recalling the interaction with a family whose children grew up in a difficult environment, they behaved well, “I lived in a town in Canada, which was quite brutal for those times, because teenage pregnancy was very high there, and because drugs and alcohol were part of that town, I found a family, and the children were very well educated and these impossible things were completely normal. And that’s what happened to me many years later. I asked the lady of the house: “How did you do this?”She then revealed the tips that profoundly influenced her parenting style. “And she gave me a piece of advice that I took to heart, and it really worked for my son. And she said, ‘Don’t give your child free time.’ She said, ‘You know, give them whatever they want, as long as they’re doing it with passion.’ Interests will change, level of commitment will change, but make sure they don’t have free time until they’re 15-16. Make it a habit to make sure they go from one activity to another. And it can be fun. It should be fun. It shouldn’t be a chore, the kid will hate it’”.Elaborating further, the actor added, “But if he wants to play basketball and tennis and golf and play kabaddi and spend time with seven kids and learn how to make dough, whatever, make sure his time is filled. That doesn’t give them time to delve into things they shouldn’t at that age.”Madhavan married Sarita Birje in 1999. Their son Vedaant, born in 2005.
