Tannaz Irani spoke about marriage, divorce, motherhood, guilt and healing relationships with her children in a recent interview. From talking about growing up in a progressive home to admitting that she “could have handled things better” as a mother, the actress shared some very personal moments from her life.
“The women in my house were the owners of their space”
Speaking about growing up in the 1980s and becoming unapologetically herself, Tannaz revealed that her confidence came naturally because of the women around her.“I don’t care at all, I’m going to be whatever I want to be. I was always healthy, but no one ever made me feel fat or uncomfortable about myself,” she shared with Haterrfly.Recalling her grandmother’s influence, the actress said, “My grandmother was a diva. Off-the-shoulder dresses, flower petal tops… the women in my house owned their own space. Men never stopped them because women kept them that way.’She also revealed that conversations about equality never happened in her home because it was normalized while she was growing up.“My father would wake up every morning and make tea for my mother. She would serve the tea. She would also make our sandwiches. It was only when I entered the industry that I realized the outside world was very different,” she added.
“I married a Muslim who was 18 years older than me”
Tannaz also reflected on his first marriage and explained that his family never opposed his decisions.“I married a Muslim man who was 18 years older than me. My family knew that Tannaz would always do what his heart desires,” she said.Explaining why the marriage eventually ended, she admitted that age and emotional growth played a role.“When you’re in your 20s, you’re growing a lot as a woman. He was a great man and he allowed me to find my space, but I think I was looking for something else. I wanted to go out and party and do things, while he was much more mature,” she shared.The actress also admitted that she was emotionally immature at the time and may not have fully understood herself.
“When you break that factor of safety for a child, you’ve broken it”
During the interview, Tannaz became emotional as she talked about how the separation affected her daughter.“Much later I realized that maybe it wasn’t easy at all for my daughter. She was young and she understood what was going on,” she said.Guilty as a mother, the actress added, “Once you break that safety factor of a child, especially as a mother, you’ve broken it. Your daughter’s greatest safety factor is her mother, and I broke that.However, he clarified that he does not constantly blame himself.“I think maybe I could have handled it better. If I’d realized how badly this was going to affect people, I would never have done it,” he admitted.
“Let your child wait for validation”
Tannaz also shared how he slowly rebuilt his relationship with his daughter over the years.“She went into a shell. That was her coping mechanism. A lot of moms wonder how long they have to keep that silence. My answer is: let them. You have broken their safe house, now give them space,” he said.The actor revealed that he repeatedly apologized to his daughter without expecting immediate forgiveness.“I started apologizing constantly. I was saying, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know better.’ But don’t apologize in the hope that your child will immediately say, ‘It’s okay.’ That’s making it about yourself again,” she explained.He also emphasized the importance of sincere apologies and emotional responsibility from parents.“Parents are not gods. They make mistakes too. Sitting like a god waiting for your child to come back doesn’t work. You have to go to them,” he said.Tannaz Irani married theater artist and performer Farid Currim at the age of 20. The marriage lasted eight years, during which they had a daughter named Zianne. They divorced in 1993. He later married actor Bakhtiyaar Irani in 2007, with whom he has two children: a son named Zeus and a daughter named Zara.
