sir Derek JacobiOne of Britain’s most respected stage and screen actors has opened up about the lifelong belief that her looks kept her from the kind of Hollywood stardom she once dreamed of. The 87-year-old, who has been a regular in theater and film since the 1960s and appeared in blockbusters including 2000’s Gladiator and the 2024 sequel, has spoken candidly about his complicated relationship with his image and his feelings that his ambitions were not fully realized.In an interview with The Guardian, Jacob was asked if he sees himself as ugly. “Oh yes. Oh, as a child, yes. Ginger-haired, sallow-faced. Acne-ridden East London kid. Yes, absolutely. I can’t look in the mirror,” he replied.
What Sir Derek Jacobi said about wanting to be movie star
Jacobi was honest about the career he wanted to pursue. “If I’m honest, I’d like to be a movie star. I think I can act. But I didn’t have the looks to match my acting. If I had the looks and my acting skills, I think my world would have turned out differently. But I didn’t. And I never wanted to look at myself because I didn’t like what I saw.”When asked who he would like to look like, Jacobi had a clear answer. “Rock Hudson. Growing up, he was a movie star,” he said. He also admitted that stardom wouldn’t quite suit him. “I’d probably be bored as a movie star, but I’d be rich. And, for a kid from the East End, that matters.”
Sir Derek Jacobi through a lifetime of insecurity
The actor has also reflected on the insecurity that has shadowed him throughout his career, admitting that it comes from childhood. In an interview with The Telegraph, she said: “Always! Insecurity is the story of my life. It goes back to my youth as an only child. If I’d had siblings, maybe I wouldn’t have been so shy. In the big world of making your own way, I’ve always felt like I have to keep at it, or I’ll run off the ladder.“Jacobi also talked about being surrounded by high achievers and how it contributed to a persistent feeling of underachievement. “I think I’ve always had a fear of achievement. When you’re surrounded by a lot of high-achieving groups, I think that affects you if, like me, you feel undervalued,” he said.Despite those feelings, Jacobi, who has won two Olivier Awards among other awards, admitted that his trophy cabinet offers some solace on dark days. “Nowadays I can always look in the closet and see a sari or two if I need to,” she said.Jacobi was last seen in 2024’s ‘Gladiator II’, reprising his role from the original film more than two decades later and reminding audiences once again why he has been one of British acting’s most enduring presences for more than six decades.
