Choreographer and dancer Shakti Mohan has opened up about dealing with eve-teasing and bullying while growing up, sharing that bullying was a constant part of her life.Speaking to Siddharth Kannan, Shakti said, “Eve-teasing was a regular part of life back then – I don’t know if it still is, but it was a constant for us.”
“It was a daily experience”
Recalling his college days, he said, “It didn’t feel safe to even step out of the house after 7 p.m., like you were inviting trouble. But it wasn’t just at night, it was also during the day, commuting to and from college.”“I was homeschooled in Miranda, and the two years I traveled on the university bus were incredibly traumatic. The way people looked at you, the way someone came up and touched you, it was a daily experience.”“Every day I came home safe and I thanked God that nothing serious had happened. Because we would hear stories of girls being taken to cars or attacked”, he added.
‘Don’t be afraid… look back’
Sharing how her family responded, Shakti said, “My sister once slapped a boy in the bus. She used to tell us, ‘Don’t be afraid. If someone looks at you, look back and be afraid’.”“But the truth is, it’s terrible that women have to live like this. If I had the means to travel by car, I would, but we didn’t, so I had to go through it every day,” he added.
‘There was anger, so much anger’
When reacting to such events, “of course. There was anger, so much anger. You feel helpless and think, ‘What can I do to change this?'”“Sometimes you feel like picking them up and hitting them. But a lot of these men are so shameless that it doesn’t even affect them,” he said.
‘It’s not about clothes’
Addressing the victim-blames, Shakti said, “That is completely wrong. I used to go to college in full kurta-pajama, with a shawl or sweater in winters.”“If you want to blame someone else for your actions, that’s cowardly. It’s not about clothes,” he added.
“We teach girls everything, but not boys about consent”
Highlighting the larger issue, she said: “Girls teach us everything: how to dress, how to sit, how to act, what time to come home. But boys are not taught about consent.”“I was wondering: why would someone do something wrong?” he added, remembering his childhood confusion.
‘Not only strangers… but relatives’
Opening up about the molestation, Shakti said, “Yes. Not just once, multiple times, in different places.”“And not only to strangers, but also to family members. Ask any girl, and you’ll realize that this is very common.”“At the time, I was too young to understand what happened. I realized much later, in college, when it suddenly hit me, ‘Oh, this was wrong.’ And it was someone we trusted completely, someone my parents trusted,” he added.
‘I didn’t tell my mother… I was scared’
Asked about her parents’ reaction, Shakti admitted that she had never told them directly. “Honestly, I never directly told my mother about this particular incident. Like I said, I told my sister. All of my sisters were shocked when we started to tell about our experiences. She was very angry. I didn’t tell my mother because I was afraid, what would I say to her? And what could she do?”He also revealed that similar incidents happened with his sisters and cousins. “Yes. I told my sister, and she was like a parent to us. In boarding school or in life, we always went to her for everything. Then I started hearing stories from my other sisters. And from our female cousins too—it was the same pattern. Not just one or two people, but many relatives. At that point, you’re left wondering what?
“We have chosen to cut contact”
Explaining that they never confronted the perpetrators, Shakti said, “We didn’t know what to do. By the time I realized what had happened to me, I was already in college. Years passed. I didn’t know how to deal with it. All I could do was share with my sister. After hearing everyone’s stories, you are even more amazed. In the end, you just choose to cut contact. You don’t meet those people again. That’s all we could do.“Even today, he admits, the situation remains complicated. “Honestly, I still don’t know how to deal with it, even now. Besides, my mother would be concerned about the family’s reputation. His instinct would be to protect us by telling us to be careful in the future, not to fight. Calling them openly, that would never happen in our family.”
“Not all men…but some think it’s their right”
Shakti also stated, “Not all men, but yes, some men think it’s their right, that they can talk to women in a certain way or treat them the way they want.”“It’s something I see clearly in society today, the education of boys and girls is very different,” he said.“Not hate, but there’s definitely anger towards some men,” Shakti admitted, adding that she’s also met “wonderful, kind, respectful people.”“In northern India, it was worse. After coming to Mumbai, I felt much safer and more comfortable,” he said.“I feel Mumbai has a very different culture; there is respect between men and women.”
‘If the mindset doesn’t change, nothing will happen’
Ending on a strong note, she said: “We teach our daughters to be careful, but we don’t teach our boys about consent.”“Boys often grow up with too much freedom and no clear boundaries. If that mindset doesn’t change, nothing else will.”
