Manoj Bajpayee has revealed that he has considered retiring from acting in the past decade, as the emotional burden of inhabiting complex characters often leaves a lasting impression. In a recent interview, the actor also spoke candidly about aging, mortality and the sacrifices that come with the pursuit of success.
“For almost 10 years, I’ve wanted to quit”
Talking about his relationship with the actor, Manoj admitted that the thoughts of quitting the profession crossed his mind time and again.“Yaar aapko sach bataun, kareeb 10 saal se na beech-beech mein mann karta hai ki main chhod doon. Lekin phir kabhi koi role aa jaata hai, phir main chala jaata hoon,” Ranveer told Allahbadia.The actor insisted that he does not want to continue working out of necessity. “Main acting ko majboori ke taur par nahi karna chahta hoon ki mujhe ghar par daal roti le jaani hai. Mujhe acting karni hai agar koi charitra hai, usko nibhane mein bada maza aayega.”Interestingly, Bajpayee revealed that he is now more commercial and lighter entertainers after years of taking on intense and psychologically demanding roles.“Aajkal mera bada mann kar raha hai commercial film karne ka…slapstick comedy out-and-out, nonsense comedy. Thoda gaanon-vaanon pe naacho. Ghar se koi taiyari karke nahi aana hai. Sirf family ko goodbye bolo aur set par achha time bitao,” he said, calling it “work done”.
‘Dark characters take a toll’
Bajpayee admitted that some of the darkness from films like Gali Guleiyan, Aligarh and Bhonsle remains with him.“Sometimes I am aware of the darkness I feel from my head. Sometimes I know exactly where it is coming from. Gali Guleiyan se aata hai, Aligarh se aata hai, Bhonsle se aata hai,” he said.The actor added that such roles often cause intense mood swings and emotional exhaustion, making spirituality an important anchor in his life.
‘You’re going to your grave’
The conversation later turned philosophical as Bajpayee reflected on aging and death.“Whether I wait or not, I have to come to terms with one thing that’s constantly changing. Life. You’re going to your grave, your funeral pyre,” he said.The actor stated that aging is becoming more and more evident in everyday life.“Jo mere body ke cells the woh sab purane ho rahe hain. I feel it when I go up the stairs, I feel it when I go down the stairs,” he shared.According to Bajpayee, death is an inevitability that people should learn to accept rather than fear.“Woh jaana hai aapko. Woh toh jaana hai. Uske liye sochna kya hai? You should know and try to adapt.”
Looking at the cost of success
Bajpayee also reflected on the sacrifices he made in pursuit of his ambitions, especially the time he lost with his parents.“In materialism, yes”, he said when asked if the fight was worth it, “but I have lost too many things” before adding.The actor recalled that he spent a large part of his life away from home—first in boarding school, then in Delhi and later in Mumbai—which created a distance between him and his parents.“Sometimes I feel, yaar, kuch samay aur mil jaata mujhe mere pitaji ke saath. We could have understood each other better. Ya meri maa ke saath hum apne solve personal problems kar sakte the,” he said.While he acknowledged that success gave him the freedom to choose his work, he admitted that not all sacrifices are worth it in retrospect.“Bete materialist ke baad jab aap peeche mud ke dekhte hain toh lagta hai ki all was not worth it,” said Bajpayee.
